If you can't eat Taiwanese food, how to become their friends and lovers?

After reading what you wrote about that dish “The Fifth Watch of Prosperity” (五更腸旺) in last week's column, I went to my favorite eating place in New York and ordered it. Wow! I had never eaten that dish before. Thanks for teaching me about it.

Did you know that “Fifth Watch” refers to the ancient way of measuring time in China? Since they didn't have clocks or watches then; they used nine periods of time for each day, and each period was called a “watch.”

I would also like to note that food is a form of oral communication, and when you live in a foreign country, learning to eat the local delicacies — no matter how strange they might at first seem to your taste buds — is a good way to

communicate with the local population and to hear and taste their culture.

If you cannot even eat their food, how can you become their friends or lovers?

— Oral Gal in Brooklyn

Dear Oral Gal;

You are a reader all the way from New York? Well, that's impressive. I wonder what inspires you to take such an interest in Taiwan; and to boldly go to oral destinations that other Westerners fear.

To expand on the meaning of the “Fifth Watch”, I would like to add that this period occurred at approximately 4:30 in the morning. As you said; there were no clocks to measure time, so the day and the night were both divided into periods. The “Fifth Watch” was the last period of the night.

A night watchman would be responsible to bang a gong at the start of each “watch” — once for the first period; twice for the second period; and so forth.

Perhaps, cooks in SiChuan — the place where this dish originates — created spicy dishes to help watchmen stay awake. Of course, this is only speculation.

— Eating well is an adventure, MeiGui

Dear MeiGui;

What's your problem? Are you a fat bitter American chick who can't get a date?

You make remarks to offend everyone: American dudes; Canadian dudes; Brit and Aussie dudes. Even some of the Western girls I know complain about you.

The stuff you write is probably the most politically incorrect junk I've ever seen. Did you grow up in a trailer park?

— Bashed-American Guy in Ilan

Dear Bashed-American Guy;

It's possible, but I've blanked out most of my early childhood memories, so I can't be certain. Although, I do have one reoccurring recollection, it's of a long thin living room where alternating father figures would sit in front of a small box with antennas and a picture tube as they drank bourbon and screamed obscenities. Whatever happened, it was obviously quite traumatic.

Anyway, it is interesting that you mentioned the “dating” issue, as several years ago, a couple of Canadian guys in a Taipei bar did injure the self-confidence of my friends and I over nothing more than our attempt to make friendly banter.

They insisted on buying drinks for us, so that we “wouldn't” talk to them. Apparently, we were interfering with their passing maneuvers. Still, free drinks are free drinks, so we accepted their boorish hospitality, and spent the rest of the evening spreading ugly rumors about their health among the bar's local female population.

— Doris Claiborne said it best, MeiGui

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