2012

While it's a common film conceit to depict the American government attempting to save humanity, it is rarer to see it also portrayed as selfish and capitalistic, as it is here. Future events such as the 2012 London Olympics contribute to a believable plot, and an amusing scene with a televised press conference featuring an impersonated Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger only add to the film's realism.

As expected, the script is thin and the dialogue needs to be heard to be believed. It's delivered in a flurry of events by the outrageously docile John Cusack. Other noteworthy characters are Amanda Peet as an unintentionally unlikable ex-wife, Danny Glover as the U.S. President, Thandie Newton as his cute daughter and Woody Harrelson as a doomsayer who's just trying too hard. Emmerich feeds us too much sentiment, weirdly inappropriate comedy, villainous politicking and doses of noble self-sacrificing, my-child-must-survive heroism from characters competing to secure first-class passage on the Ark. There's also a cute yapping dog whose survival seems more important than the entire population of India.

In many instances, cars and planes escape from disasters that chase them off-screen as whole cities fall down or blow up. The first action scene — which, surprisingly, doesn't arrive until about halfway through the film — reveals that failed author Cusack is also a part-time chauffeur and the most amazing driver ever! He not only traverses ruptured roads and drives through falling buildings, but his car seems indestructible — no blow-outs here. But don't worry, the end is near: the finale brings an impressive Ark, and the audience is forced to endure ridiculous suspense games as the fate of humanity depends on one man and his child successfully unblocking an underwater device. Generally, the survivors are overly lucky, even surviving close proximity to a volcanic eruption. From the start, it is predictable who will die, the only mystery is exactly how they get killed off.

Unfortunately, John Cusack is no Tom Hanks. In films like “Apollo 13,” Hanks is the one man the world wants to survive. In “2012,” John Cusack's survival doesn't seem important despite his leading role. This lack of investment in Cusack's fate is a fundamental problem. As nice as he is, nice isn't loveable. Emotionally tone-deaf, but irresistibly entertaining, this on-screen apocalypse gets the audience thinking, and while its horrors become a tad monotonous in the mid-section, it's still a value-for-money hoot.

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