Fort Hood attack hits home for Muslim deployed in Iraq

I answered my own question: because I might not come back.

On Thursday, a soldier just like me was probably sitting in the chair I sat in, looking up as the doors were thrown open and the gunman walked in.

What would you do if a regular day was interrupted by angry, burning steel? Run? Hide? I'm not sure what I would have done.

The alleged gunman was eventually shot and taken in custody to the hospital. He was identified as Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan.

Suddenly this terrible story had a new twist. Right away, the news networks picked up on his name and his Islamic background. I could not believe his faith had anything to do with it. I didn't want to believe it.

I was raised in a good Islamic household and, until the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, I never really believed that Muslims could be evil in the name of their faith. Though my early life was sheltered, I've learned a lot in the years since the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

I was born in Saudi Arabia to Pakistani parents and immigrated to the United States before I reached age 3. I grew up on the East Coast, moving as far north as Washington and as far south as Savannah, Ga. I call Springfield, Va., my home town, because I spent the best years of my childhood there.

My brothers and sister and I went to Sunday school when we were growing up, though we learned about Muhammad and Ibrahim, rather than Jesus and Abraham. My mother ensured that we said our prayers every day and read the Koran and learned from it.

That's how I am planning to raise my own son, Yusuf. Yet, as I think about the swift reaction last week to the alleged shooter's background, I don't see how he can grow up without being exposed to the negative ideas associated with Islam. The majority of these stereotypes come from false depictions of Islam as a fundamentalist, extremist organization bent on world domination through Sharia law.

My son is so young still — his favorite things are his stuffed animals and our dog, Rocky. He is unaware that part of his life will be shaped less by the impact of men such as Muhammad Ali Jinnah, Mohandas “Mahatma” Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., and more by men such as Osama bin Laden and Mohammed Omar.

What Hasan is alleged to have done last week at Fort Hood resulted in loss of life and serious injury for my fellow soldiers. I send my deepest condolences to the families of my fallen comrades. The attack also led to a fresh round of hateful words targeted at Muslim Americans.

In the aftermath of the massacre, I am reminded to be a stronger and more persistent presence in raising my son. I will teach him not only to be a good Muslim but a good citizen.

For now, though, I am focusing on teaching him the alphabet via Webcam while I finish this deployment.

The distance between here and there, between a combat zone and what was, temporarily, another zone of violence, has never felt greater.

Naveed Ali Shah is a public affairs specialist in the U.S. Army. The views presented here do not necessarily represent the views of the Department of Defense.

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