er, comedians have appeared on every news outlet to whine about how hard it is to make fun of Barack Obama. Really? They have an arsenal of jokes to use against a 71-year-old ex-POW cancer survivor and Obama is too touchy a subject? I’m here to help. I called some comedian friends to compile a guide to making fun of Obama. The consensus is there’s not yet one standout attribute to pound away on (McCain is old! Clinton cheats on his wife! Bush is stupid! Al Gore is a robot! John Kerry makes me feel inexplicably sad inside!), but there are areas to explore. If we just work a little harder, and sacrifice a little bit, we can achieve greatness. We are the immature jerks we have been waiting for.
He’s a nerd
Yes, he seems cool because he plays basketball and fist-bumps and knows about pop music. But that’s because we’re comparing him with other politicians, all of whom are older than our grandparents. Compare Obama with other 46-year-olds and he’s Urkel. He’s the kid at the Model United Nations conference who says, “Guys, guys, c’mon. Let’s not make fun of Eastern Europe.” And the brutal truth is, even if women faint at your rallies, you’ll never feel cool inside when you have Alfred E. Neuman’s ears.
He’s ridiculously earnest
Obama is the kind of guy who not only talked you into showing up for Hands Across America but afterward insisted that it was awesome. On “Saturday Night Live,” Fred Armisen plays up Obama’s weird pauses and brow furrows like he’s Yogi Bear getting bad news from a doctor. Comedian Marc Maron does a really smart bit about how Obama stares out into the distance while giving a speech. “The first time you see him you’re like, ‘What’s he looking at?’ But then you’re like, ‘I don’t know, but it’s good and full of hope. And he’s the only one who can see it. If we vote for him, maybe he’ll take us there.’”
He’s black
Apparently, the differences between black people and white people can be funny. Trust, me I’ve seen this on HBO’s “Def Comedy Jam.”
When I called “Simpsons” writer Matt Selman for help on Obama jokes, he came up with this: “A lot of people are worried about Obama being assassinated because he’s black. The solution to that is a much blacker vice president. I’m thinking Flavor Flav.” Admittedly, Selman nervously said, “Don’t make me look racist!” about 20 times before and after telling me his joke.
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