“Hau shao chi-gwei!” (“So tight and cheap”) because the Taipei rare animal and plant swap gifts were considered rather shabby in comparison to the glorious Giant Panda bears Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan (the names together mean reunion) pledged to the island.

At the end of a multi-column lavish detailing of the Mainland’s gifts in the China Daily, the biggest English language paper, including the above mentioned “world’s most endangered species” of pandas, and the Gongtong — the Dove Tree — a “living fossil” which dates back 10 million years, Taiwan’s gifts of rare animals; the Formosan Sika deer (an indigenous subspecies of Cervus Nippon) and Formosan Serow (Capricornus Swinhoei), were referred to as “a pair of dotted deer and a pair of small but agile mountain goats.”

The other most heard remarks from the hot water dispenser were that they wouldn’t be letting their parents go on their proposed trip to see fabled Alishan (a feature of a much loved and ancient childhood song of the motherland) because the DPP supporters might attack and beat them, or even burn their tour buses.

It might be wiser of the DPP to think about the economy of the island’s south before donning the headbands.

“Shantsai” is a new fad word. It sort of approximates in meaning to a deliberately obvious copy, proudly faking it and often with humor.

“Imitation as parody,” so that you will see an exaggeratedly bouffant-coiffeured fake Jay Chou in an advert, or a set of perfectly crafted Vouis Luiton luggage as a kind of middle finger waving homage.

It’s setting out to say we make lookalikes because we like the originals, it’s cheaper than innovation, we think it’s a little anarchic and just because we can.

“Oriental Glamour” on the other hand are not fake. Yes, they’re five young beautiful ladies like those gorgeous virtuosos in black stockings who play Mozart with sexual innuendo.

But OG do it exquisitely. Wearing traditional chipao dresses, they play ancient Chinese musical instruments, the yangqin (dulcimer), pipa (Chinese lute), erhu (twostring fiddle), dizi (side-blown bamboo flute) and guzheng (Chinese zither).

The ladies deliver ancient classics, like Chung Yiangde Hua Yue Ye (Moon lit night on the Spring River). The performance is full of lusty looks, sighing eyes and delicately suggestive finger flutters.

Now that you hear these traditional Chinese sounds from the most fashionable international DJ’s decks, and with the new rise in orientalist fashion in general, you could say it’s a case of shantsai in reverse.

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